


The Missing Banana

by sufferingsoprano



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Affection, Background Relationships, Bad Puns, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deceit misses Virgil, Deceit | Janus Sanders-centric, Feelings, Fluff, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Moceit is main focus tho, Morality | Patton Sanders is a Sweetheart, Multi, Platonic past anxiet, Polyamory, Snakes, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, backround analogince, deceit has a pet snake named banana, implied dukeceit, remus and Janus are ok with having a poly relationship so janus liking Patton isn’t cheating, so very minor icky stuff from Remus dialogue, warning:remus is gross
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24400168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sufferingsoprano/pseuds/sufferingsoprano
Summary: When Janus’s pet snake, Banana, goes missing, he sets off on a search through the mindscape for her.He is pleasantly surprised with what he finds in the end.———deceit sanders-centric,with moceit (Patton x Janus) as the ship of focus
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 7
Kudos: 161





	The Missing Banana

**Author's Note:**

> petition to officially give Janus a pet snake, and name her Banana !! 🥺
> 
> • the bolder/italics indicates when Janus is speaking in lies, but I think y’ll already know the drill!  
> • WARNING: there is some Janus and Remus dialogue, and to keep Remus in character, he can say some gross stuff. Nothing unbearable, but some very minor profane references- for Remus, he’s just good ol’ Remus!

———

“Remus?”

Janus’s voice faltered as he called out, a shred of panic inching into his words.

Remus bounced right on into the deceitful side’s room, a giddy smile plastered on his lips.

“Heya Double-D...couldn’t get enough of me, eh? The tremor in your voice makes me wanna go absolutely postal!”

Janus rolled his eyes, and for a brief moment all of his worries melted away as he smiled fondly at the gremlin of a man fidgeting before him.

But the moment was short lived as Deceit was startled back into reality as Remus bounded past him, grabbing his hat off his head in the process.

“Remus! Give it here!”

Remus laughed, hopping onto Janus’s bed and making himself comfy.

“You’ll have to tear all my organs out if you want this back!”

the green clad side grinned mischievously as he put deceit’s hat on his head.

With a wink, he tipped his newly acquired hat to Janus.

Janus shook his head, slightly amused, yet a tad bit frustrated all the same.

“Remus... **_this is definitely the time for such antics_ ** — **_there is absolutely nothing wrong_ ** .”

With that Remus perked up, giving his partner in crime his full attention.

“Banana...she’sss **_not_ ** missssing.”

Janus sputtered out.

Remus bounded back up, placing the hat back on the head of its rightful owner.

He gave Janus a thoughtful look.

“Oh sorry Jan Jan, I haven’t seen banana all day! if I had— let’s just say she may be up my butt or down my throat, if you catch my drift?”

Janus made a face, 

“Remind me to never leave you alone with her ever again.”

With that Remus giggled, tracing his finger on Janus’s shoulder.

“Hmm, maybe she’s with the lights? Oh- perhaps she went to go swallow them all whole! Now I’d pay to see that! I bet Lo Lo would taste fan-freakingtastic!”

Janus sighed, his brow creased as he gave a light nod.

“Yeah... **_I will definitely not be checking with the others_ **.”

Remus squeezed his hand just as Janus was about to set off to go interrogate the others.

“Bye Dee Dee!! Let me know if Banana ate them! I’d love to see her shit their remains out!”

Janus scoffed as he left, he truly wondered how on earth he had come to love that gibbering numbskull.

But the feelings of affection eventually wore off and were replaced with nervous energy.

In reality, he knew Banana was just another imaginary creature he’d had Remus help him create, but over the last few years, he’d come to love his little snake as one may love their puppy, or even love their own child.

With a sigh, he quickened his walking pace, praying to whoever may be listening that Banana was safe and sound.

Entering the light side commons, he came across Virgil, Logan, and Roman, curled up on the couch watching a movie.

He could just make out the music— He believed it to be Hercules.

Logan sat in the middle, Virgil’s head in his lap, and Roman’s head against his shoulder.

Momentarily, the three shifted their attention to the snake like man standing before them.

Quickly, Virgil and Roman reverted their eyes back to the tv screen, clearly not pleased to be in Janus’s company.

Logan offered a nod and a light smile to deceit.

“Ah, Janus. Is everything alright?”

Janus walked closer to the couch, returning Logan’s small smile with a smirk.

“Looks Like I **_didn’t interrupt anything_ **, hmm?”

Logan raised an eyebrow, humming in response as he looked down at the two sides pressed against him.

Janus’s eyes shifted to Virgil, who still would not meet his gaze. Janus was happy for his former friend, glad to know that he had people to care for him.

Though seeing Virgil so happy, so joyous, all without him— left a rather bitter taste in his mouth.

Clearing his throat, deceit cut right to the chase.

“Banana issss miss- **_Not missing_ ** ...Have you **_Not_ ** seen her?”

Logan gave him an incredulous look, as Roman joined him in gawking, the two confused as ever. 

“Banana? I’m sure there are some in the kitchen or you can simply summon one yourself— if you require our assistance, we may-“

Janus cut Logan off,

“My snake...my pet snake...”

Logan and Roman stared blankly.

Virgil, without a second glance, spoke.

“Banana is the name of his pet snake- y’know, she’s the long yellow one he’s always coddling.”

Realization seemed to come over Logan and Roman. Roman shook his head, seemingly satisfied with the explanation, before he immediately returned his attention back to the movie.

Logan took a second to gather his thoughts, before he turned his attention back to Janus

“My sincerest apologies, I cannot seem to recall seeing her around today.”

Janus nodded thankfully, however his body trembled, as anxiety welled up in his chest.

Virgil must’ve sensed something, as he reluctantly turned his gaze to the snake like side.

“Check the kitchen, or go ask Patton....I’m sure she’s fine.”

The two made brief eye contact, before Virgil buried his head back into Logan.

Once again, Janus momentarily forgot his concerns, as his thoughts lingered around the short glance he’d shared with Virgil.

There had been a hint of friendliness in the anxious side’s words that left Deceit paralyzed as his thoughts trailed back to a time when things weren’t so sour between them.

But he was snapped back to reality when Roman interrupted his train of thought.

“What are you staring at Sir Slime?”

He spoke with an accusatory tone, looking suspiciously between Janus and Virgil.

Janus ignored Roman’s question, pushing down the conflicting thoughts swirling through his mind, opting to instead give them all a nod of acknowledgment.

“Thank you, **_I shall not be on my way_ **.”

“I wish you luck on your search.”

Logan called, to which Roman grunted what must of been some sort of half hearted “Your Welcome”, whilst Virgil remained silent, not daring to catch the snake’s eye again.

Janus offered them all a weak smile before moving along.  
  


With no luck, Janus searched the kitchen, turning over pots and pans, searching the drawers, and emptying out each cabinet.

He let out an exasperated hiss, shaking his head as he entered the hallway and began on his trek to Patton’s room.

Though he knew crossing ones fingers was a meaningless superstition, he found himself doing so, as he hoped with all his might that his search would finally come to an end.

After Lightly knocking on the door, Patton happily invited his visitor in.

Upon opening the door, Janus was greeted by a rather surprising sight.

Patton was curled up in his bed with Banana asleep on his chest.

It was quite the sight to behold, as the human side of Janus’s face reddened, a soft smile finding its way to his lips.

“Hey Jan!” Patton cheerfully exclaimed.

Janus loomed closer so that he was standing beside Patton’s bed.

“ **_I knew for a fact that she’d be here_ **!”

The lie rolling off of his tongue as he motioned to the sleeping snake rested against Patton.

Patton chuckled, running a finger down the snake’s back.

“She just slithered on in at some point this morning! She makes wonderful company!”

Janus nodded at that, sincerity entering his voice as he spoke.

“Yeah...she really does make great company.”

His eyes softened further.

Patton’s cheeks flushed at that, the two of them staring at each other shyly.

Patton broke the silence,

“Well— we were just about to start watching the secret life of pets! What a coincidence seeing as you just went on a search for your own pet!”

“There are no snakes in that movie.”

Patton thought about it for a moment, before nodding in agreement.

“I suppose you’re right about that— but snakes can be just like dogs! They still need somePAWdy to love them, and they can be just as PAWsome!”

Janus couldn’t stifle the laugh that escaped his lips as Patton’s dorky puns.

“Hmm, **_not funny at all_ **...”

The lie evident in his voice, as lingering amusement was detectable in his words.

“ I suppose I could describe your PAWthetic attempt at a pun as absolutely PAWful.”

Patton’s eyes widened, letting out a hearty laugh.

“I had no idea you liked dad jokes! You really took the opPAWtunity, I’d say you have some Pet-tential to become a pun master!”

With that, Janus began to laugh with no restraint— a rather rare occurrence.

He couldn’t remember when he had last allowed himself to laugh so hard.

Patton grinned at that, watching the other side in a moment of total vulnerability. Seeing Janus act so openly was a beautiful sight to behold, as Patton couldn’t tear his eyes away from him.

As his laughter died down, Janus noticed Patton’s stare, biting his lip in embarrassment he averted his eyes to look at Banana.

Patton joined him in looking down at the sound asleep snake.

“Banana is very lucky. She has a wonderful PAWternal figure.”

Slowly, the two lifted their head to make eye contact as they exchanged a gentle smile.

Janus stomach churned, his cheek flushing.

“Care to join me?”

Janus took a moment to respond, pleasantly surprised by Patton’s invitation.

“ **_Of course not_ **”

He spoke as he took a seat on the bed beside the moral side.

He allowed himself to fully let his guard down as the movie began to play, and if he were to be truly honest— he actually enjoyed the movie quote a lot.

Though silly and unrealistic, he had to admit it the animals and their eccentric personalities were quite adorable. Patton certainly agreed, as he squealed in delight upon the introduction of each pet.

Even despite the movie’s cuteness, Janus knew for a fact that the movie could never measure up to the absolutely adorable nature of Patton.

At some point during the movie, Banana stirred from her sleep. 

Upon seeing her caretaker, she slowly slithered off of Patton and onto Janus.

Patton giggled, turning his attention away from the movie to watch as Janus placed a kiss to the snake’s forehead.

Upon noticing Patton’s gaze, the human side of Janus’s face reddened once again , perhaps even more than it had before.

Janus certainly did not become a total tomato as he felt Patton rest his body against him— or at least that’s what he told himself as his heart fluttered in excitement.

The nerves he’d been feeling earlier seemed to return to his body— but this time, they were far more pleasant.

As the moral side buried his face in Janus’s shoulder, Janus moved his hand to brush a loose strand of the others’ hair, both of them unable to wipe a smile from their faces whilst doing so.

By the end of the movie, Patton was sound asleep, his arm draped across Janus’s waist, and his nose buried in the crook of deceit’s neck.

Banana rested against his other side, probably dreaming about stealing another one of Remus’s rats.

Janus’s attention honed in on Patton’s gentle features as he snored quietly. 

He very carefully used his free hand to remove the glasses from Patton’s face and set them beside him on the nightstand, doing his very best to not wake either of his companions.

He gave the moral side one last glance, absolutely oozing with affection, before he planted a soft kiss to the moral man’s temple.

Sighing in content, Janus shut his eyes, allowing himself to gradually fall into sweet slumber, Banana and Patton safely at his sides.


End file.
